I, Me, Mine, and No. It’s the vocabulary we use when we are two (the so-called “terrible twos”). And it’s cute — for a year.
But by age three it’s tiresome. After that — at ages 22, 32, 42, and 52 — it’s called narcissism.
I, Me, Mine, and No can become the focus of our prayer life, the subject matter of our pilgrimage, and the concern that we share with others regardless of where the conversation started. We don’t make time to listen to others. We run roughshod over other people’s lives trying to find a way to meet our own needs. We bully others in an effort to get our way.
As tough as it can be on others when we act that way, the real problem is that when our spiritual lives are about I, Me, Mine, and No we are less useful to God and of little or no use to others.
We all experience pain, loss, frustration, and depression — and there are times to bandage those wounds. And there are times in life when an appropriate set of boundaries and the word “no” can be very important. (Often, for complex social reasons, those moments may be more important for women than for men.)
But the life-long, imperious two year old is — well — a life-long imperious two year old. And there is nothing adult, courageous, faithful, available, or useful about someone who perpetually behaves like a two year old.
There are times when we all need to hear the sharp, firm, familiar words of spiritual counsel…“Grow up.”
God is patient with our needs and attentive to our pain beyond all imagining. But we are called to be the children of God. That gift requires that we grow up and learn to be available to God and to others. Available to do the hard thing, the courageous thing, the selfless thing — things to be done today, in the world where we live, among the people we have been called to serve.
I, Me, Mine, and No is not the vocabulary used by someone who hears that call. It is You, Us, Yours, Ours, and Yes.