One of the principles in any relationship — and one that is very hard to remember — is that our capacity for growth is often directly related to the patience that someone else has for our pain and struggle. We all need help and from time to time there are things we are unable to accomplish. But more often than not, the challenges we face require some measure of energy, discipline, effort, and focus from us.
Move in too quickly. Take over when we are first asked. Intervene to make a problem go away and we foreclose on emotional, physical, and spiritual growth.
The Olympics provide an excellent image for that process. Each of these great competitors has traveled long distances with their coaches to be in Vancouver. But those distances are not just physical, they are psychic and spiritual as well. And when the day of competition finally comes, the coach is compelled to sit on the sidelines to watch his or her athletes struggle on their own.
One of the most daunting challenges any of us can face, as spiritual coaches or simply in caring for those we love, is the ability to grant others the space and opportunity to grow.