Yesterday I noted that the spiritual values we embrace implies a story — about us, about the purpose of our lives, and about the larger purpose of the human story — or they should.
Of course we can convince ourselves that the stories we tell do those things — and this may or may not be true. It is easy for us to see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe. The spiritual stories we tell ourselves can be self-justifying and they are often unexamined. That is why Dr. Phil’s question “So how’s that working for you?” made such an impact. People stuck in self-destructive life patterns often pay little or no attention to just how destructive the stories they tell themselves can be.
So, there is a place to ask ourselves and one another critical questions — questions that probe the virtue, value, and validity of the things that we believe.
We are not inclined to do that. Self-examination is tough and often painful. And most of us resist it, because just on the other side of self-examination lies the pressure to act.
We are also resistant because our culture has taught us that someone who thinks critically is, by definition, judgmental — especially if we are critical of what someone else believes. That’s especially true when it comes to spiritual convictions. “You have your opinions, I have mine, it really doesn’t matter” —- I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard that bit of wisdom.
The problem is not all spiritual views and visions are equal. Some are self-destructive. Others foster cruelty.
So, this is important: Exercising our critical capacity is not the same thing as being judgmental. To be critical is to ask questions about the virtue, value, and validity of an idea. To be judgmental is to reject an idea — or a person, instead of the idea — without ever asking those questions.
As I tell my students, to be critical is to ask questions about virtue, value, and validity. To be judgmental is to say (or think)…I don’t care about the quality of your ideas, I just don’t like you.
Tomorrow…a bit about the kind of critical questions we can all ask and why they matter.
How does being self critical play into the scenario? I find myself thinking and rethinking all sorts of things, wondering what if? and how could I have done that better?