One of the quiet battles that most people fight in the spiritual life is discovering a prayer life that frees them, instead of feeding a sense of guilt. The difference in the experience starts with the assumptions we make about the purpose of prayer. Too often, many of us believe that prayer is an obligation to fulfill, a means of proving our spiritual worth.
But nothing could be further from the truth. The purpose of prayer is conversation and, like other kinds of conversation, prayer is intended to deepen our relationship with God. As such, it grows organically out of our lives.
As with other kinds of conversation, prayer then is about sharing our hopes, dreams, fears, and failings. It is about taking the time to talk and it is about taking the time to listen. The rationalization that “God knows how I feel anyway,” is just that, a rationalization. We would not expect that logic to work with those we love. It doesn’t work in our relationship with God.
Prayer, then, is the gift of friendship. Growing into that kind of conversation can be daunting at first, but a few practical suggestions might help:
One, begin modestly. If you aren’t accustomed to praying, don’t begin with a week-long visit to a monastery.
Look for the natural places in your life for the conversation. If you aren’t a “morning person,” don’t try to pray in the morning. Find a place that fits comfortably into your life.
Take time to listen. Remember, prayer is about a relationship. You could not expect to build a relationship with another human being by giving them a grocery list of your needs every time you visited, don’t treat your relationship with God that way.
Finally, be patient. Relationships that matter and endure, take time. Prayer is the invitation to an enduring relationship in which today’s conversation is just the beginning.
