What God Wants For Your Life

A student of mine drew my attention to this story from Anthony Bloom’s Beginning to Pray:

The lives of the saints are enlightening in this respect, and in the life of St. Philip Neri just such an occasion is described. He was an irascible man who quarreled easily and had violent outbursts of anger and of course endured violent outbursts from his brothers. One day he felt that it could not go on. Whether it was virtue or whether he could no longer endure his brothers his Vita does not tell us. The fact is that he ran to the chapel, fell down before a statue of Christ and begged Him to free him of his anger. He then walked out full of hope. The first person he met was one of the brothers who had never aroused the slightest anger in him, but for the first time in his life this brother was offensive and unpleasant to him. So Philip burst out with anger and went on, full of rage, to meet another of his brothers, who had always been a source of consolation and happiness to him. Yet even this man answered him gruffly. So Philip ran back to the chapel, cast himself before the statue of Christ and said “O Lord have I not asked you to free me from this anger?” And the Lord answered “Yes, Philip, and for this reason I am multiplying the occasions for you to learn.”

There are lessons to be learned here about prayer:

One, when you pray to become a better person, get ready for a learning curve.

Two, prayer is often the beginning of an experience that is not just about prayer.

Three, prayer isn’t just about asking for something, it is about heightened awareness of “the things of God.” It’s about tuning in, paying attention, living it out.

Finally, as they say, “be careful what you pray for.” God is not a vending machine. God is a fellow sufferer, companion, teacher, comforter, and guide. Some prayers uttered at the bottom of a mountain are only answered through a long climb to the summit.

I have a friend who is addicted to all things Mac.

Steve Jobs announced the arrival of the new Mac Air Book two days ago and yesterday my friend negotiated his Christmas present. As a fellow Mac devotee, I am keenly aware of how strongly attractive this all is. In fact, I’ve often thought it is more than a little scary that the company logo is an apple with a bite taken out of it. Great shades of Adam and Eve. But I take refuge in the knowledge that the Hebrew doesn’t actually say it was an apple.

In giving my friend a hard time about his record-time capitulation to the allure of the newest toy, he responded, “The thing is we all have our thing.” Never were truer words spoken.

Jewish and Christian spirituality is hammered out in the real world. From Genesis to Revelation the goodness of creation is asserted. In Genesis with the pronouncement that God’s work was good — in John’s Apocalypse with the creation of a new earth. It’s no surprise, then, that “we all have our thing.”

The key to spiritual balance lies in not allowing our things to have us. Finding that balance is never easy to achieve. That is why some have abandoned the effort to nurture their souls and others have run from the created world.

Both are soul-killing over-simplifications.

Live with freedom. Experiment with the balance.

You will make mistakes.

But God loves you. God made you a spiritual being. God made the world. God is present to you in both.

In a world where we are accustomed to fixing or replacing things, it is not surprising that we find ourselves wanting the same thing in our spiritual lives.  We want our spiritual struggles ended now.

But typically, what goes around comes around.    All the biggest issues in our spiritual lives are usually defining for us.   They revolve around early, formative experiences and relationships or around life-shaping characteristics.  And for that reason, they can’t be fixed and forgotten.  Some examples:

• A controlling, overbearing, or abusive parent will set a child on a lifelong quest to find love and battle his or her own anger.

• A perfectionistic streak in us can be reinforced for a first child by birth order or a demanding mother or father, launching us on a lifelong quest for grace and a struggle with a tendency to be judgmental.

• Struggles with feeling insecure or inferior can be reinforced by experiences at school or a sibling who seemingly achieves his or her goals with ease, setting the stage for a lifelong struggle with envy.

• Our gifts can determine that what goes around comes around.  Your talent for caring, nurturing, teaching, problem-solving, making music, writing, speaking, working with your hands, or visualizing solutions will shape the world in which you live.  Each world has its gifts, but each one also presents peculiar challenges that often last a lifetime.

• Sadly, in many arenas even our personalities, race, and gender can present a lifetime of spiritual challenges and as economies and societies shift, it’s not always obvious who will struggle.  There are many places where strong, capable women continue to struggle with a glass ceiling, in spite of advertised progress. But as our work worlds change, there are times when the ostensibly privileged white male will find it hard to live into his life’s vocation.

So, what are we to do?

First, set aside the unrealistic expectations:

Not all spiritual challenges are fixed forever.

Second, set aside the guilt.

Just because you continue to struggle with some issues does not mean that you are a spiritual failure, that God doesn’t love you, or that spiritual progress isn’t possible.

Third, embrace the truth.

What goes around comes around.  And what goes around is often the more important, formative issue in our lives.

Fourth, embrace the opportunity.

If it’s important, this is also where you will build true spiritual momentum in your life.

Fifth, live in hope.

Some issues may come around again and again.  But if you embrace the truth and name it, eventually even the frequent fliers in our lives will yield more easily to spiritual progress.  Those who struggle to feel loved will remember more readily that they are loved.  People who struggle with insecurity will learn that their gifts are nurtured in God’s presence, their value is not diminished by the gifts that others possess.

What goes around often comes around because it needs to come back around and on the other side lies freedom.